the beast & the beauty

There’s something heartening to write about, and then another one – is simply outré.

The latter first.

It is Ms Shetty again. I know, I know – I shouldn’t be doing this. I should ignore it. But I’m amused. And very cynically so – if it is possible to have such a curry of emotions. Pun very much intended.

An honorary doctorate Leeds Metropolitan University.

For participating in a second rate, commercial, spiced up, ratings crazy, appealing to the lowest-iq-denominator audience television show?

Outstanding contribution to cultural diversity and good relations between the peoples of United Kingdom and India.

Excuse me, while I choke.

Erm…Dr Shetty, honoris causa ad gradum.

A school of thought fears that the number of non-academic Phd holders may surpass academic Phd holders. Imagine – a world where there are more Shilpa Shetties than Amartya Sens. *Shiver*

On a more encouraging observation…

While on a suburban train last evening, I saw a young pretty girl, dressed simply in jeans and a shirt, carrying a large red box that said ‘Kingfisher Cabin Crew Training Manual’. The girl alighted at Kandivli, along with another lady who was probably her mother and they walked away towards home I guess.

Nothing spectacularly unusual, but it was an agreeable sight. This simple girl would soon be flying the skies, confidently addressing people, dressed well, earning good money, firmly and surely on her way towards independence.

It is nice to see middle India become independent, confident and pursuing new and bold careers, creating better lives for themselves.

Like Jacques says, the young (youth) in India today are a good lot. Cheerful, ambitious, positive and assured folks.

This is why it is a great time to be here.

And we all fall down

And I too fall victim to the mediocrity that the media is. They say you can run, but you can’t hide – it certainly be true with this post.

Of course, Ms Shetty was being paid a happy amount for this 4 weeks of ostensible imprisonment, nonetheless the entire nation’s heart went out her. The generous souls that we are.

Shilpa Poppadom! Personally I think it’s rather funny. What would you expect out of low IQ-ed, reality show scavenger for the tiniest bit of prominence? On a show that thrives on controversies? Nothing more and nothing less. Jade Goody delivered. The ratings flew through the roof. Endemol’s mission achieved.

Our indignance on racism? Aw please. We Indians are one of the most racist people in the world. It’s out there, disguised sometimes, blatant on other occasions – but we are and more so when we’re on our own turf. That gives us power. Or perhaps an opportunity to do unto others what was done to us for 200 years?

I’ve not been given a house on rent in Chennai because:
• I’m a girl.
• I’m single (Jesus Christ, a slut?)
• I’m not a Brahmin (me – scum of the scum left behind by an earthworm)

Yes, doors have been shut on my face and I’ve had tears in my eyes wondering if I should just pack my bags and run into the welcoming arms of my parents back in Bombay? Parents – ah yes – they’d like for me to get married. At this age – they’re willing to take any boy I bring home. Christian boy? Ummm, yeah if you insist. A Muslim boy – you must be out of your mind?!!

In restaurants, service suddenly improves when I’m accompanied by Caucasion looking friends. I’ve been told not to walk alone at night on Colaba Causeway because of the number of ‘blacks’ who hang around there.

Don’t even get me started on all those ads with scientific research backing the fact that success will come to those with fair skin and it’s only 6 weeks away. So Hurry before opportunity knocks on someone else’s epidermis.

She lives in a slum. How dare they! But Shipa’s neighbours actually agree to that statement. The condition of the roads outside her colony in Versova, Bombay is so awful, it is almost like living in the slums. “What is wrong if Jade Goody said that it looks like Shilpa hails from the slums? It’s true. We all hail from the slums. I cannot believe that I paid a bomb to stay in this so-called posh locality of Mumbai called Versova,” says Anu Mishra whose house is in Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel Nagar, which is considered a prime location in the western suburbs. On an average, flats in Versova command up to Rs 5,000 per square foot.
“But each time I step out of my building, it feels like I am staying in the slums.”

My favourite part is Ms Shetty’s reaction upon hearing the won the contest (is it what they are calling it?) - "Chicken curry rules! Thank you so much" Shilpa yelled as she was led out of the house by Davina. "I just want to thank the people of Great Britain for giving me the opportunity of making my country proud," Shilpa said.

Back up the bus here. Making my country proud? Right, now did she win a gold medal at the Olympics, save someone’s life, or closer to her field of work as it were, commended for some skilled piece of acting? Nothing so trivial, she won a few hundred thousand pounds, probably non-taxable. Now that certainly does make this poised India proud.

Birth of a new phrase: Doing a Shilpa Shetty – Taking up a left over job with not many takers out of desperation or well, lack of lucrative livelihood – and accidentally becoming famous (and successful) because of someone else’s stupidity and a whole lot media sympathy.

Technorati tags: Big Brother, Shilpa Shetty, India, Poppadom, Slums, Media, Racist